we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
