Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
