therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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