His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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