Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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