I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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