His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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