ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
