Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
