Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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