A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that's an acceptable place to lick
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
