Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize