Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
