Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
