do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
