Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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