she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
