i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
