On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
