I hate all girls vehemently.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
