Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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