I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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