I wanna bring you to show and tell
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
