Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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