If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
