I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I would fuck him just for his dog
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
