You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
