Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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