Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
