I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
