my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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