I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
