I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize