Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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