It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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