I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
