you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize