I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
