She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
