ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He passed out mid-signature
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize