im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
