Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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