I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
