And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
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