Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
