Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
