Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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