i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
