i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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