Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
