giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
