I need to stop coming to work sober
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
