that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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