Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
