I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
