So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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