you would pick up someone in the library
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
