shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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