a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
