i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
