So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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