I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
