Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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