I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
