Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
