I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
