so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
