Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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