I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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