Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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