idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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