I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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