Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
